Let your goals guide your actions . Not everyone will understand or support you. I have even encountered those who want to pull me off track, or make me feel inadequate for having such a large vision for myself. When I can pay them no mind, respect them for their opinions, understand we are different, and walk away feeling even more confident in my decision, I feel even stronger.
I have encountered many different reactions to my recent lifestyle change. Most of which have been very positive ranging from people asking me for advice, or just shooting me a quick email or message explaining to me how I have motivated them to change their lives as well. These things make me sosososososo very happy, as the only reason I ever post anything about anything is to show that if I can do it, so can you! And that your wildest dreams ARE possible if you just take the first step!
On the other hand I have encountered some negative reactions to what I am doing. I have had to delete, or “unfriend” people due to their negative comments. I have people come up to me in person, either people I know or complete strangers, and proceed to tell me that I need to “live a little” or “relax and have fun.” I think this, more than anything else it what bothers me the THE MOST. If you do not fully understand what I am doing or the journey I am taking, please do not try to give me advice…As if miraculously I will all of a sudden snap out of it, and realize OMG you are right! I am so 100% miserable with what I am doing! You mean to tell me I can enjoy my life? Do the things that I want to do? NO WAY!!! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!!
OK genius listen here…I am doing what I want. If I didn’t want to better myself, take control of my life, build my confidence and self esteem, challenge myself physically and mentally, and prove to myself I am capable of doing things I never thought possible, then I wouldn’t be doing this…People who know me know that I am a fun loving free spirit. I would never voluntarily do something long term that I disliked or didn’t enjoy doing. I wouldn’t revolve my entire life around something I wasn’t in love with or looked forward to every single day. I wake up every morning counting down the hours until I can get back in the gym and destroy my stats from the week before. I cannot get enough of that.
Really, I think people sometimes say these things because they are trying to justify why they are not like me. Why they reached for that cupcake and I did not, “Sometimes you just have to live a little!” This is very true! And I have many moments like that as well! Just because I do not reach for that cupcake does not mean I am better than you, and no one should feel like they have to justify anything to me. Enjoy that cupcake! All of our journeys are different. I am on this path right now, at this time in my life, because I am meant to be. And God, decided I needed it, and I did! You are on a path that needs that cocktail, or needs that cupcake.
I am living my life. I am finally for the first time free from all anxiety from food and diet and what I put in my body. I used to have such an unhealthy relationship with food. Never knowing what was right or wrong, making myself sick with guilt over what I just ate. I am a person that succeeds with structure, and clear guidelines. I now know there is a way to enjoy anything I want and no reason to feel guilty or ashamed because I know I am still progressing towards my goal. When I am that only person that reaches for a cupcake in a room full of fitness freaks, I do not feel the need to justify my decision, I am not ashamed. I AM HANGRY AND IM GONNA EAT MYSELF A MOTHER EFFIN CUPCAKE AND YOU CAN ALL WATCH!! AND I AM GOING TO GET CUPCAKES CRUMBS ALL OVER MYSELF AND THEN EAT THOSE TOO!! I can finally feel confident in my clothes, and know that I can wear whatever I want without needing to worry about hiding something. Except for my height…I mean some things just don’t look right on short people and there is nothing I can do to grow taller…
No one is putting a gun to my head, if I want a drink I will have one. If I want a cookie I will have one, I have never deprived myself since the day I started. When I want something I have it, it is 100% my choice. But guess what, 99.9% of the time I don’t want it. My goals guide my actions. I want to accomplish them more than I want that popcorn at the movies. Popcorn may make me happy while I am eating it, but then guilty afterwards. Reaching my goals and seeing my progress makes me 100 times MORE HAPPY than any popcorn ever could! Why is that weird or so hard for people to understand?
Why try to convince me I should eat or drink something I do not want…Just like you do not want to chop your hand off with a butter knife, ooooooor dunk your head in a can of paint, I just don’t want that….this seems to be the hardest for people to get. And I instantly get labeled as unfun, or boring. Do I do the same things socially that I used to do? No. I still make it a point to go to dinner parties, or events I know will have food and alcohol, and I still make it a point to every once in a while get out to a few bars with my friends. But, I have enjoyed putting on my thinking cap and finding fun things to do that don’t center around consumption of anything.
My last example, and my most recent, was just last week someone I have known for a while came up to me and felt the need to tell me I should stop training my arms because I am starting to get “man arms.” Now, aside from the obvious, wow that was rude that immediately came to mind, I want to point out that I #1 DO NOT HAVE MAN ARMS. And #2 Not all our goals are the same. What I want my body to look like is not what everyone else wants their bodies to look like. What I work my butt off to accomplish and am so damn proud of, is not what everyone else wants to accomplish in their lives. Same as what I find attractive on other people is not attractive to others.
To me, all of this is not so much what I look like, but it runs much deeper. Pushing myself, challenging myself, putting up a number in the gym that is better than the week before, changing myself inside and out, creating my body, whatever I want, bigger or smaller, knowing that I have control to create anything and I don’t have to settle or accept what I am unhappy with.
Now yes, absolutely, my arms look very different than they did when I started. But get this, they are much smaller, and will continue to get smaller. In fact, I am in a fat loss phase. This is just me, how I have always looked my whole life. It has just been hiding underneath, and the last 6 months I have been peeling that away layer by layer. I have always been a muscular girl. I have always been athletic, and grew up competing in gymnastics and dance.
I am strong, and while I used to be embarrassed and ashamed of it, I am now proud! I cannot control where I lose fat on my body, and I am not actively trying to get bigger. I am actively trying to get smaller and I am! But I am also changing shape at the same time.
I didn’t sit there and lecture her, or explain myself and my mind set. I just said “thank you, I have worked hard for these and I am proud.” Not everyone understands my grind. All that matters to me is that I have found more happiness and satisfaction in what I am doing now, than I have ever experienced in my life. And that is enough for me. And the fact that I can accept that and not care what others think makes me happy.
Go find your own grind, whatever that may be and I hope it brings you happiness.
I smell what your stepping in;-) keep it up!
Everyone needs to read this. You hit every possible nail on the head, perfectly. This is so amazing 🙂
You go girl! Crush those haters with your toned, healthy, and badass “man arms”!! 💪💪💪So proud of your progress! And I promise we will both stay on track this summer 👙☀️🌈